Tuesday, February 10, 2009

2009 Pro Bowl Festivities

I was in Honolulu for the festivities this weekend and have a few observations to pass on.

-I was wrong about Ray Ray’s belly.  After further consideration, it is a Hacksaw Jim Dugan-style muscle gut.  My apologies for the misunderstanding.

-Carolina ‘s WR, Steve Smith, has legs that belong attached to a 350-pound man.  I had the pleasure to stand behind him at one point this weekend and couldn’t believe the girth; they’re like the trunk of a North-Western Ontario Poplar.

The other thing about Steve Smith is that after American Idol star David Archeleda (I don’t care if I spelled that wrong) sang during Saturday’s practice, Steve walked over and chatted with him for five minutes.  I don’t know what they were saying, but whatever it was, I hope it was emotionally devastating for Archeleda. 

-The game was great to watch, lots of action, etc.  I can’t say enough about how fun it is being in Hawaii, seeing NFL’s biggest superstars.  Weird thing though, I’m pretty sure stadium upper decks aren’t supposed to sway in the wind.  Whoever build the Aloha Stadium might of used glue and Popsicle sticks to build their bleachers, because at various times this weekend, I was walking or sitting in the Stadium, and felt swaying. 

At one point during Sunday’s game, it was so bad that I planned out my best chance for survival, emergency maneuvers for the upper deck collapse scenario.  It included, in no particular order, standing, covering my head, silly putty, clearing a path, laying down under my seat, a book of matches, suing the state of Hawaii for millions and a dab of crazy glue .  That all turned out to be a waste of my time, as it didn't come down.

-Jared Allen’s forced fumble/ fumble recovery was pretty sexy.   Rodeo didn’t disappoint his fans, it fact, Rodeo impressed his fans.

-50% of everyone in the world is a Cowboys fan; the other 50% hate the Cowboys and like other teams from different centers across mainland United States.

-There was a guy in my hotel from Pittsburg.  He was there with his son, because he promised his son that if the Steelers won the Super Bowl, they’d go to Hawaii.  You must be thinking, what a great Dad.   What if I told you, I saw that guy 3 different days this weekend, most recently this morning and each time He was, A, Drunk, B, wearing a Steelers, Super Bowl Champions shirt (same one everyday), C, wearing short swim trunks and D, wearing steel toe work boots that came up to his mid-calf.  Steeler’s fans suck, I always knew it, but now I know that I was always right.

Sorry for the days without a post.  I’ll make it up to each and every one of you.


  1. All of #69's sacks and forced fumbles are sexy! Am I right?

  2. you are right Jolyn. Just like anyone with a barbed wire tattoo is sexy also. Those are general rules of thumb.