Monday, April 13, 2009

2009 NFL Schedule

The schedule for the entire 2009 season of NFL football gets released tomorrow on an exiting, prime-time television event. 

From the moment it is released online, till about 32 minutes later, it will bring tremendous joy and interest to an otherwise dull Tuesday evening.  On the 33rd minute after it’s release, everything will return to Normal, and I will casually glance at it now and then until the first week of September. 

The most exciting thing for me however, is tracking down that elusive yet achievable double header weekend, where I can drive south from my Canadian home to catch a game on Sunday afternoon, then find a Monday nighter on the way back, between Sunday’s location and my home. 

On a blustery Sunday in December, 2007, I watched the Titans play KC, then hit up a Vikes/ Bears game on Monday.  Heaven on earth my friends.

Life is too short not to drop stacks of cash on sporting events.  

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Sad Truth

If I have a flaw in my game (by game, I mean my fanatical love of the NFL) it is that I watch a minimal amount to college ball and only really get to know the players heading into the draft at the combine.  This becomes an issue, because I rely solely on draft boards and mock drafts to tell me who is good at what position.  I have little first hand knowledge from watching a player on the field.  The exception is the top players who play for highly ranked college teams, who are always on TV and play in the bowl games.  If you play for Notre Dame, SCU, LSU or Florida, I’ve seen you play ball.  If you play for Notre Dame, not only have I seen you play ball, but I’ve also seen your coach get hit in his knee hit from the side, buckling it 45 degrees sideways, making me mildly sick to my stomach.  Watch that gross S*&T here.

So now here we are less than a month from the draft.  I know who should be in round I, I know their names, their position, I don’t care, but I know what school they are from, I know if they were caught smoking weed in college, if they stole their roommates shoes, I know if they hate wearing condoms, by the number of children they have fathered and I know how good they are at standardized testing, and how fast they run the 40.  I don’t know if they made a slick one handed catch in the endzone in their JR year, If they aver yell at their coach on the sideline, or if they can pull away from safeties in the middle of the field on a run.  I can read that stuff, but it’s not the same as knowing because you have seen it. 

Because I gather my info from mock drafts and news reports, I basically only hear whose blowing it and slipping down the board.  As far as mock drafts go, I’m 90% sure that everyone who does them just copied the last guys order, because they all look the same.  Somehow on draft day, nearly everyone will be wrong.  In fact in some years, the guy who was picked to go #1 overall sank back to the end of the round.

But, I am stuck with this information.  I will wait patiently until draft day, than I will watch, bored to death, while teams pick their man and I will wait until next season starts to see how these players who I have been thinking about for the past month, actually play the game.  That is my punishment for not finding enough disposable time on Saturdays during the fall to watch 6 hours of football.

I am not content with this situation and I will attempt to amend it next year.  Mark my words.  

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Cutler to the Bears

Jay Cuter was traded to the Chicago Bears today.  In return the Broncos get QB Kyle Chandler, head football coach on NBC's Friday Night Lights, first round picks in 2009 and 2010, Lovie Smith's daughter's hand in marriage, the bears third round pick in 2009, hot dog with all the fixins (we're talking fried onions, relish, ketchup, mustard, some chili and a slice of cheese right up on top there) and a brand new pair of Reebok sneekaz.

The Bears will receive a fifth rounder in '09 from the Broncos, QB Jay Cutler and an Upper Deck, Eric Lindros rookie card.  

UPDATE:  It is QB Kyle Orton heading to Denver, not Friday Night Lights star Kyle Chandler.  My bad.

Monday, March 30, 2009

2009 Preseason

Preseason Schedules were released today.  As a seasoned, obsessed NFL fan, I knew it came out, sure…Did it get me excited?  No.  Did I look it over?  Sure I did.

I have one thing to say about the preseason.  It is the time of year, when in 2008, the Detroit Lions went undefeated, The Patriots were in a tizzy because Matt Cassel looked terrible and no one knew what the Pats would do if Brady went down with an injury, and Adrian Peterson had 12 rushes for 21 yards against the Steelers and looked like he would have an average 2008.

Here it is…look it over, check your team out, and then take my advice, forget you ever saw it.  Then come August, flick on the tube and watch your teams practice squad players fly around, missing tackles like they are in the CFL. 

You might say, “who am I watching, the Calgary Stampeders”?  No, no, that’s the Kansas City Chiefs 4th string middle linebacker,  he sucks.

It hit me recently that I have spent a significant amount of time talking about some of the idiots who play football lately.  I guess it is fun and easy to make fun of those guys.  I mean, there is a good chance that during the day today we will find out that a player drove drunk this weekend, or stabbed his wife in the arm with a BBQ fork.  Instead of looking at those events, today I want to say a few things about why football is the greatest sport on earth. 

Remember in the 2007 season playoffs (might have been 2006), when the Eagles and the Saints played.  Sheldon Brown cracked Reggie Bush in the backfield after a swing pass.  Reggie Bush crawled to the sidelines and even though I was cheering for the Saints that game, it was easy to love. 

I was in the stands at the end of November last year, and watched QB Gus Ferotte, from his own end zone, throw the football as hard as he possibly could.  Berrian ran at full speed, and hauled in what would become a 99-yard catch.    The place went bonkers.  If that isn’t crazy enough, what if I told you that that play was the first offensive play after the Vikings stopped the Bears 4 times in a row with the ball on their own 1 yard line? 

Staying with the Vikings for a moment.  Adrian Peterson busting it around the right side against the Packers, 2:00 left in the 4th quarter, this year was amazing.  Singlehandedly winning the game and sending Packer fans home on their 6 hour drive, sad and lonely.  Football friggen rules.

I also have a memory from last year, where I came home late from somewhere, turned on the television to see if the Pats, Jets game was still on, and witnessed the Pats come from behind on the last drive to tie up the game and send it to overtime.  Cassel to Moss with a couple seconds left.  Crazy stuff.  I hate the Pats, but if you love football, you can’t hate that game.

I am calling April, the ‘I love football’ month.  I will attempt only positive, football loving stories for the entire month.  I just hope the players co-operate and don’t do anything too stupid.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

T.O. and Cutler again

Terrell Owens is being honored this evening, in Washington, D.C by the Alzheimer’s Association. 

Believe it or not, I actually like Terrell Owens, but him being honored by anyone other than an anti-McNabb fan club, seems a little strange to me.  I mean no disrespect to the organization or to anyone with the disease, but the obvious joke goes something like… “Did they forget that T.O. is an asshole”? 

You see it’s funny because Alzheimer’s really does makes you forget things like that.

I read this morning that the Broncos wanted to trade Cutler because the new staff questions his intelligence and thinks he consumes too much alcohol.  This is a legitimate concern, because Cutler has type 1 diabetes, and any alcohol would affect his health to a certain extent. 

I have said on here before that pictures tell the whole story.

Based on this one, I'd say Jay Cutler is a 39 year old lesbian woman.  As for the alcohol accusations, I don't see any evidence to give a reason to be alarmed. 

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

2008 Season Games here I come

I have some extremely important news to relay through the internet.  Tonite, the internet has given me a gift I will not soon forget.  Through the power of the World Wide Web, I have downloaded a program that makes the IP address of my computer invisible to the universe.  Although I don't understand much of that crap, what it means to me is that I will no longer receive a message that videos are not available in my area, when trying to watch tv shows online.  Most importantly, it will help me fulfill what I feel is my duty as an NFL fan and subscribe to's 2008 rewind, where I can watch every 2008 NFL game in HD.  

There is little doubt in my mind that after a week of watching some bits and pieces here and there, I will feel it is a waste of money and cancel the service.  That's not the point.  The point is that I have the ability.  What a wonderfully giving, safe and friendly World Wide Web.