On Sunday, I’m rooting for the underdog Cardinals. Since I am not a fan of either team, I had to do some real soul searching in order to figure out why. A few reasons came to mind.
-Larry Fitzgerald has quite possible the largest bum ever to run a 4.4, 40. I can’t even believe that thing works on a wide receiver. It’s just fun to watch.
-Kurt “baggy sleeves” Warner is old and good, a rare combination for success. He worked as a grocery bagger in this adult life and rose to football stardom. He must be one of those guys who refuses to read an article written about him, or watch his performance, like actors do sometimes, because if he’d of seen himself on tape just once, he’d realize he wears linebacker shoulder pads and his sleeve openings look weird. He’s the Jake Plummer of his generation. I can overlook all of his cosmetic flaws to root for the good man beneath it all. Plus, Moto-cyclette Roethlisberger wears his hat backwards far to often to be taken seriously.
-Because they shouldn’t be where they are and the fact that they are , gives hope for every team in the league.
-Edgerrin James was good, then he sucked and now he’s sort of good again. Plus, his back-up’s name in Tim Hightower, which if I didn’t know better, I’d think was a 6’8” volleyball player from the University of Iowa.
There are other little things, like Jersey color, City location and the fact that I’d take a team with a bird name over a team named after a blue collar occupation any day, but those are petty, bandwagon reasons. Larry Fitz’ ass on the other hand…you just can’t argue with that.
Cards 27, Steelers 17
In, best news I’ve ever heard, news, I just read (here), that Jared Allen is indeed an ultimate fighter.
The news comes following a story from Minneapolis that Tarvaris Jackson is taking Mixed Martial Arts training in order to loosen himself up a bit. Apparently, Rodeo participated in the same training while he was in KC, and it helped him with his agility and ability to round the corner (and his ability to beat your face in, should he deem that necessary).
I got a pretty good sneak peek of what t-Jax will look like in the ring, during Wild Card Weekend against the Eagles, when Jackson threw a pick and tried to tackle the Eagles player at the goal line. He was lifted into the air by the opposing team and thrown to the ground like a sack-o-potatoes.
None the less, I feel a real kinship with both Rodeo and Jackson now, because what a lot of you may not know is, my parents second cousin married Brock Lesnar’s brother. True story.
Needless to say, Jared Allen will likely pursue an MMA career in the next few years, dominating the circuit with his reach advantage. Wowing the masses with his devastating athleticism, an unparellelled work ethic and his signature finishing move, the one-handed head squeeze.
The Detroit Lions are looking to change their look on the field by 2010. Don’t get me wrong, they’re still going to suck, but they’ll be sucking in a slightly different color.
The team announced during a news conference this week that it plans to get a new look... kind of a visual transformation to go along with the mental and physical transformation that they hope to achieve.
Team insiders have leaked what the new uniforms will look like. The most drastic change will be the move away from actual jersey tops to fur coats. The fur coats were originally to be made from mink, but due to the state of our current economy, the team settled for rabbit pelts sewn together to form the new look. The team’s pants will be black both home and away and instead of mid cut shoes, the men will now wear shoes with the upper part extending to just below the knee. The overall look is intended to emulate a street worker, or prostitute.
Dan Orlovski was in attendance during the news conference, and modeled part of the new look for the reporters.
The Super Bowl is a very interesting event for me. It is the biggest game of the year for my favorite League, yet I treat is with the less seriousness that my favorite teams first preseason game.
One of my issues is, I am usually watching the game with a room full of people, most of whom are seeing their first game of the season. These people are in it for the party, not the football. Still, make no mistake, none of them believe that and they are all experts on all aspects of the game. Everything from the play calling to the color of analyst’s shirt is under the microscopic scrutiny of these football experts. You are right Rick, Brady is an “idiot” for not seeing his open receiver. Debbie, please explain to the group why Eli Manning doesn’t “look” like a good football player. What’s that Chad, you think running plays are a waste of a down…funny, I thought they were the foundation of a team’s offense.
I guess it comes down to my respect for a person’s football watching experience. I fully recognize that not everyone can watch 4 games a weekend, but an average of 3 per month is required for me to have any respect for a persons football opinion. I also take age into consideration. For every decade older than me someone is, I can excuse .5 games per month. For example, If a guy is 30 years older than me, he must only watch 1.5 games/month for me to take him/her seriously.
The same allowence applies based on how many bags of Sunchips a person brings. 0.5 games a bag.
It is therapeutic for me to talk openly with you about this. I am trying to mentally prepare myself for Sunday, when for the first time all season, I hear someone decide who to cheer for based on the color of teams jersey.
Adrian Peterson was awarded the Fed Ex Ground Player of the universe award today. He led the league in rushing in 2008, with 4398 yards on 301 rushes for a whopping 14.6 yards per carry average. The only player with a better season was O.J. Simpson in 1995, when he rushed for 4405 yards, and killed 2 people.
For winning this award, Fed Ex will donate 12.4 million dollars to the YMCA in AD’s honor. As well, Peterson will receive free priority status on all of the Fed Ex ground packages he sends.
Fed Ex noted that standard fuel surcharges will still apply if Peterson send packages over seas.
