Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Jared Allen in Iraq and Jay Cutler


Right now, Jared Allen is in Iraq, motivating the American soldiers by giving them advise that only an NFL veteran can give, like remember to duck really low behind thing while being shot at, make the most out of meal times, remember to have cool things written on the top of their helmets (usually with the word kill), always carry a picture of your girl back home and Rodeo always gives the best tips about shooting guns.

Back in America, Broncos QB is doing something much more important, he’s ignoring his team because his feelings are hurt.  Before you criticize him, remember that he has diabetes and has hair like one of the beatles.  I also remember seeing a video of him driving an H2 Hummer, so that brings along a whole new set of issues right there.

Apparently when QB Matt Cassel was being shopped around, the Broncos made a strong effort to get him on board.  Cutler took obvious offence to that, seeing as how he’s the franchise QB and the Broncos don’t make good enough food for there to be two cooks in that kitchen.  Now Cuter ignores phone calls from the club’s owner and during a conference call that he did get on the horn for, Josh McDaniels, the head coach told Cutler that they don’t want to trade him, but they could whenever they want.

So Cutler’s pissed, the coach sounds like a moron, the owner can’t get his QB on the phone, and Cassel plays for the 3rd worst team in the NFL, which by the way doesn’t have Randy Moss on it, so that means Cassel will look like Dan Orlovski on the field this year.

My guess…this will result in no action by anyone, and Cutler will throw 29 TD’s next season.  If something is going to happen, it will be before or on Draft weekend, so I’ll stay ready.

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