Monday, March 23, 2009

Cornell Green and Daunte Stallworth are Morons

I have not been able to write for the blog lately.  I was at my cabin over the weekend building a gigantic dock that will house my father’s gigantic boat for decades to come.  Now that I am back in town, I have a strong desire to post the best material ever written in blog history.  Truthfully, I don’t have time to put that much effort into the post today, so we will all have to settle for something that falls into the categories, moderately entertaining or slightly humorous.

Lets talk about idiot football players and their inability to take normal person vacations or off-seasons.  Dante Stallworth, for instance considers getting plastered and driving his $200,000 Bentley into a Cuban guys legs his idea of a good winter vacation.  Now, for retirement he is looking at 10 years in a concrete room, lifting weights in the yard with a phone book taped around his kidneys to protect against the sharpened toothbrushes. 

For my winter vacation I went to Hawaii… I went surfing.  When I had a few pina coladas too many, I left the rented Sebring convertible alone.  I bet Daunte Stallworth got an 8 on his wonderlic test.

Next is Cornell Green.  This guy, who I’ve never heard of before, hit his “baby mama” with the aluminum handle of a mop.  C’mon, when faced with a situation where you are mad at someone, 98% of the world population decides against picking up a long hard object and smoking someone with it.  This should be handled the old fashioned way.  The baby mama gets 3 free shots on him anywhere she wants.  I hope she chooses two right to the “how’s she doing”, followed by another to the “how’s she doing”, only harder.

On the last paragraph, my joke was calling Green’s girlfriend and mother of his children, “baby mama”.  It may not translate well over the Internet, but since I am a 28-year-old white guy in Canada, calling someone a “baby mama” is sort of humorous.


  1. Baby Mama, that's what she said.

  2. First of all, let us call a spade a spade. You call these guys morons? You don't know how to spell............. DAUNTE????

  3. You are a fucking retard. The difference between Jared Allen and DONTE Stallworth is dumb luck. YOUR BOY HAS 3 DUIs!!! Imagine how many times he didn't get caught on top of that.

    Don't claim Canada, you give us a bad name.

  4. Dude, calm your shit. Christ